Chef refuses to make lunch for restaurant worker after she comes to the kitchen late and demands a private meal made for her, she complains to manager: ‘I told her no’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Nov 13, 2025 9:00 AM EST

No one prepares you for how high-school-like lunches at work can be. There are social hierarchies, just like when you were 17; people judge what you eat, whether you make it at home or order something, when you eat, and who you sit with. Lunches at work can honestly get exhausting, and that is coming from a person with a 9-5 desk job.

For the chef in the story below, work lunches are more than just the awkward 30 minutes when all the coworkers eat out of their Tupperwares. Lunch for a chef at a restaurant is when they have to cook food for all of the workers, ensuring everyone gets what they want to eat that day.

I can't imagine how stressful lunch is for this chef, so when one worker always comes into the kitchen late and demands private meals for her lunch, I fully understand why the chef refuses. Unfortunately, that didn't stop this entitled worker from complaining to the boss, which created a whole dispute at the restaurant.

Keep scrolling to read the full story.

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  • 01
    Chef using laptop at restaurant kitchen
    via LightFieldStudios
  • 02

    AITA for denying my coworker lunch

    So I've been a chef for around 4 years now, working in a lot of different environments.
    via im_gonna_eat_ya
  • 03
    About 6 months ago I started in my current job, which is a private "restaurant" for a senior apartment complex.
    via im_gonna_eat_ya
  • 04
    I'm the only chef working there 100%. Other chefs only come in when I have a day off.
    via im_gonna_eat_ya
  • 05
    We serve a lunch menu between 12.00 and 13.00 and a 2-course dinner at 17.00. I start at 10.00 and finish at 18.00 so im pretty busy all day between prepping, serving lunch, cleaning, ordering, taking deliveries, dinner and closing down.
    via im_gonna_eat_ya
  • 06
    One of my coworkers, who's in charge of marketing, has been asking for staff food after lunch hours are finished.
    via im_gonna_eat_ya
  • 07
    always serve staff food for everyone who orderes, given they order either before or during the lunch service.
    via im_gonna_eat_ya
  • 08
    3 days ago she asked for a cinnamonbun, which was the dessert for the dinner that day.
    via im_gonna_eat_ya
  • 09
    I told her no, and explained that I only make the amount needed for the guests.
    via im_gonna_eat_ya
  • 10
    Chef in Restaurant Kitchen with Pizza Ovens
    via Yusuf Timur Çelik

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 11
    But that she could have one after dinner service, if there were any left. She said she "only wants one if she can have it now" and pretty much left it at that.
    via im_gonna_eat_ya
  • 12
    Yesterday she came one hour after lunch and asked for a couple slices of bread and some salad.
    via im_gonna_eat_ya
  • 13
    I told her no, because all the bread i had was frozen at the time. She then asked for a croissant, to which I informed her that all of them were sold during lunch.
    via im_gonna_eat_ya
  • 14
    She proceeded to go home for the rest of the day after telling another coworker that she "can't get any food here" Then today she comes into the kitchen 5 minutes after lunch, while im running to clean up everything so I can start on the rest of the prep before dinner.
    via im_gonna_eat_ya
  • 15
    She starts "I'll have some eggs and bacon" I tell her "sorry but lunch is over for today" She raises her voice at me and says "do you have something against me?!" Still running to clean up, and pretty shocked I say "against you?
    via im_gonna_eat_ya
  • 16
    No? I've been doing lunch for the last hour?" She proceeds to angrily walk up to the manager and tell her about how im denying her lunch.
    via im_gonna_eat_ya
  • 17
    Manager says I should he flexible and look for solutions instead of denying requests. I probably could've tosted some bread to defrost it on the second occurrence but I'd already worked my ass off that day and didn't want to fix problems for people who can't follow lunch times.
    via im_gonna_eat_ya
  • 18
    OrdinaryMajestic4686 NTA. I think she might need some written rules she can stick to and try to get stuff. She's been winging it and I don't think she truly knows and understand when it's appropriate to stop by and when it is not.
    via OrdinaryMajestic4686
  • 19
    OP im gonna_eat_ya Honestly the whole work place is winging it. I love my job there but the non-restaurant people have no understanding of how a kitchen works and needs to run. While im technically the headchef i don't hold any actual power over anyone or anything, which puts me in a weird position when trying to establish order. And since the manager what me to "solve" it im lost
    via im_gonna_eat_ya
  • 20
    2300abar Have you communicated to her why you're saying no and if she was during allotted hours the answer would be yes or is there something in her role that makes it so she is unable to come during the stated hours? If the answer is yes and no respectively, then NTA
    via 2300abar
  • 21
    OP im gonna_eat_ya Unsure if I've specified that she will receive food if she orders during lunch, but it's always been implied, at least from my pov. She's usually in her office or in meetings with potential residents. She often comes into the kitchen before lunch to drop off dirty glasses or cups. Never says anything, only if she wants to eat. I find this pretty disrespectful, so I probably seem hostile towards her when she does decide to talk.
    via im_gonna_eat_ya
  • 22
    FrenchOnionSoup69 It's your job to cook for the guests. Is it in your job description to make food for staff on request?
    via FrenchOnionSoup69
  • 23
    OP im gonna_eat_ya Not directly, but it's expected to provide food for staff who order. Which is fine for me as long as they order within lunch hours. Manager and my coworker seem to be of the mindset "it's just some food, it's gonna take 5 minutes". They've never worked in food industry so they don't realise most chefs (that I've worked with at least) don't put ut with that mentality.
    via im_gonna_eat_ya
  • 24
    BunnySlayer64 Obviously you're NTA. While your manager is right that you could be flexible, I would still tell her no. You need to email this coworker (and cc the manager), reminding her in writing that staff lunch is available as long as it's requested before or during the scheduled lunch service. Emphasize that as soon as lunch service ends, you need to immediately break down the service, clean, and begin prep for dinner. There is literally no time for you do anything extra at that point. Givi
    via BunnySlayer64
  • 25
    Key_Draft4255 The problem is the lack of clarity. Implied doesn't cut it. Post rules on a visible spot as well as distributing to the staff so everyone knows the standard.
    via Key_Draft4255
  • 26
    ServelanDarrow This. NTA as she can't follow simple and obvious workplace rules.
    via ServelanDarrow
  • 27
    thereisonlyoneme I would have a lengthier conversation with the manager about this. That person really needs to set expectations for employee lunches such as when they can eat and what they can eat. It sounds like it's the wild west right now. That manager needs to decide when and what employees can eat. Then they need to communicate that to everyone concerned. Either that or if you want to take it on, set expectations yourself. Tell this woman exactly when she can come by and what she can order
    via thereisonlyoneme

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Tags

boss aita workplace-stories employee manager cooking job tales-from-the-workplace coworkers lunch restaurant chef overworked-employees workplace company
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